Happy Candy Day

Posted by Ben on 2007-10-30

Yup, happy Candy Day everyone, better known as Halloween to the rest of the United States. This is of course the day where everyone gets to dress up as what they truly want to be and, in celebration of this cathartic event, candy is given. Or alcohol if you’re over 18 (21! I mean 21!).

See it all started in the British Isles, right around the time the Romans started taking over. Due to the expansion of the empire, more and more villages were being pushed north, fleeing from the unstoppable iron tide of the Roman legions (yes Romans had tanks back then, why do you think they conquered the world so effectively?).

Well, with so many people compressed into such a small area (we call those cities now) people were starting to have problems with food (possibly because the Roman tanks kept rolling over the crops). So the people asked the local Ancient Wizened Japanese Ninja (they’re everywhere, you just don’t know it) what to do. And he replied with, “Be yourselves”

Sadly, that was absolutely no help at all to the villagers (citiers?) so they continued to flounder about trying to figure out what to do. Meanwhile, annoyed at the citiers constant inability to understand a simple cryptic answer, the Ancient Wizened Japanese Ninja began to litter the few remaining villages (which were more towns now) not under Roman rule with fliers and leaflets telling them exactly what to do.

Much to everyone’s chagrin, however, he could only write in that Weird Japanese Moon Language (not to be confused with the normal Japanese language) that no one understands…even the Japanese. So of course the British Isle people didn’t understand it. Eventually he left to more understanding lands.

Soon after, the townsfolk, who were rapidly becoming citiers, found out that almost everyone wished they were some type of supernatural creature so they could take on the Romans. So they hatched a plan (which is slightly easier than hatching a chicken).

Everyone dressed up as some kind of haunt or spook, except the one poor guy who got confused and dressed up as a hunt. After making sure they were properly spooky; they snuck into the Roman camp(s) and started to raise hell. Well you can guess what happened.

That’s right, the Romans took their tanks and blew them all back to the stoneage, and the only thing we have left of their attack is the weird little leaflets that the Ancient Wizened Japanese Ninja left behind.

And that’s why Tria has to spend all her time identifying bizzare skulls from prehistory and learning that Weird Japanese Moon Language.

Anyway, expect yet more filler next week, possibly Halloween related.

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